Dick Stiff & the Erections

Dick Stiff & the Erections were formed around the spring of 1985. Originally the brain child of Craig Steward for a bit of a laugh, the original members were John Taylor (me) on Bass, Michael White on lead vocals, Craig Steward on Guitar & a Yamaha Organ sitting in as a Drum Machine.

The concept was one of sheer lunacy & teenage idiocy; basically to juxtapose songs. For instance we actually did a song (that sadly survives on a home recording somewhere) that was a mix of Cliff Richards' "Holiday" & Madonna's "Holiday" over a 12 bar pattern which was also deliberately out of tune. It was horrendous, but at the time we thought it hilarious.

After leaving school and graduating to the colossus that was (for it is currently being demolished - Feb '09) Marton 6th Form College, Dick Stiff became even more active. Recruiting Sunil Modi as a Transvestite Rapper and Rix Jordan (of Samaria Gardens) enlisted as Drummer.

Dick Stiff & the Erections had the distinction of being banned from every venue in Middlesbrough after only 2 gigs. The first of which was downstairs at The Albert in Middlesbrough, where the band turned up and after playing for about 30 seconds the entire audience (apart from 2) left. They were paid what amounted to 8p each for that debacle - not even enough for the bus home.

Interestingly, their second gig - also downstairs at The Albert, was an unqualified success. The place was as packed out as it had ever been. Sadly however, it was not for Dick Stiff. In a bizarre twist of fate, local band PRESIDENT - who were riding the crest of a wave at the time, wanted to join the MMC (Middlesbrough Music Collective) in order to use their PA facilities - the clause was that they had to play an MMC gig in order to do so - the only free slot was to support Dick Stiff. Thus it came to pass, due to the vast audience, ostensibly there to see PRESIDENT, Dick stiff elected to play first. It was a nightmare. There were so many people rammed into the venue that the audience was literally inches away from the band. I had the ignominy of having my bass retuned by some unknown hand as I was playing - happy days. Dick Stiff went down reasonably well due to the generosity of the PRESIDENT fans patiently waiting to hear their band, and accepting Dick Stiff for what it was - a puerile, joke of a band.

And thus it came to pass - the MMC weren't overly impressed with DS&tE showing despite a great night, and they were subsequently ostracized from the MMC. However, there was to be a final Swan Song - a benefit gig at the old St. Mary's Center in aid of the Socialist Youth. Myself, Craig Steward & Rix Jordan played 2 sets that night - once as the ludicrous Dick Stiff & the Erections and again in the guise of SAMARIA GARDENS. I have virtually no memory of the Dick Stiff set, although I remember most of the Samaria Gardens. And that was that for Dick Stiff and Samaria Gardens. I personally wouldn't play live again until the following year in a 10 piece covers band called No Batteries Required. But Dick Stiff lives on, and has been resurrected on MySpace - give it a search.

Write up by John Taylor for North East Live   

Back to Step Back in Time